Paying others a compliment – A complimentary study
A compliment a day
A compliment a day keeps the psychiatrist away.
We live in a very self-consumed world. Life has become one big competition and the competition is rife. People competing with each other, each wanting to look better than the next, wanting to have a better looking spouse, more money than the next, fancier and bigger material possessions than everyone else.
Happiness is increasingly being measured by the amount of material and superficial possessions we have. It’s little wonder that the amount of lonely people is at a staggering all time high. Studies show that 20% of the total world’s population is lonely or experiences symptoms of loneliness. This very loneliness is what drives people to addiction or other obsessive, unhealthy activities.
Loneliness can either directly or indirectly be attributed to the fact that people have lost that ‘connection’ with others.
With all the competition in today’s world, it’s easy to understand how people are starting to lose that ‘connection’ with others. Many of us, including myself, are so consumed in themselves that they fail to see value in everything around us. Being consumed in my own little world; where I am in life, how well I am doing, what makes me happy, it’s natural that I start losing that very important connection with others.
A complimentary little study
During this last week, I had decided to try out a little experiment on the value of paying someone a compliment – a complimentary study on the value of a compliment. Excuse the pun.
Paying someone an honest compliment involved me thinking about something other than myself, it forced my to get out of my head and think about the value of those around me and seeing the beauty in others.
The little study was that for a week, I would try and pay five compliments, five honest and sincere compliments. I was not allowed to go to bed that night until I had paid all my compliments. If the compliment felt insincere, it didn’t count; I had to keep looking until I genuinely paid someone a compliment.
At the end of the week, I would gage and see if I had experienced anything unusual or different.
Actively going out there and looking for nice things to say, felt a bit strange at first, but once I got the hang of it, it almost became normal.
“I really like your dress.”
“You must be one of the smartest people I have ever come across.”
“Heaven must be missing an angel, because I am looking at one.”
Okay, the last line was a really bad attempt at a pick up line, but you get my drift.
The results I experienced were incredible. People are very receptive to honest, sincere compliments and you can immediately tell that your simple gesture had made their day.
A glum mood is contagious as is a happy mood. When you randomly pay someone a compliment, their mood is automatically lifted and that rubs off on you.
If you want others to like you, if you want to develop real friendships, if you want to help others at the same time as you help yourself, keep this principle in mind: Become genuinely interested in other people. – Dale Carnegie.
The most noticeable change I had experienced was that, by genuinely taking an interest in someone else, I actually felt valued, cared for and interested in. I started feeling good about myself for having noticed the beauty and value in someone other than myself. Their smile made me smile.
A simple act of paying another a compliment has been amazing, not only for others, but for myself as well.
Intentionally focusing on paying others a compliment has proven to be very helpful. Actively thinking about others other than myself has been very uplifting and I felt a definite sense of ‘connectedness’ with others. Overall, the experiment proved to be a great success to myself.
I would love to hear your views on the experiment and your personal account in the value of paying someone a compliment in the feedback box below.