The concept of trauma has been a troubling one for probably many others and myself. What I have found though, is that people often compare traumatic experiences and grade their traumatic experiences based on other’s experiences. Never truly paying their experiences the attention it deserves.
Wait. Let me explain.
Very Simply, trauma can be described as a deeply disturbing experience, resulting in pain. Be it physical or emotional, there almost always, will be pain.
What I have found, is that we often compare our own experiences with that of others. By doing so we either end up feeling sorry for ourselves, by thinking that our experiences are incomparable to that of others (which, in essence, is true) or we minimize our own experiences.
What I have found is that we often compare our own experiences with that of others. By doing so we either end up feeling sorry for ourselves, by thinking that our experiences are incomparable to that of others (which, in essence, is true) or we minimize our own experiences.
I have been through a few unpleasant events myself. I would then think of someone else’s pain, someone that may seemingly have experienced a much deeper pain and I remind myself of the gratitude I aim to one day achieve and therefore realize that my problems aren’t actually that bad. If I have to be completely honest with myself though…am I being grateful or am I merely using the pain of other’s as a deflection for me having to deal with my own pain?
Trauma = Pain and pain will be felt. No matter how hard we try running from it. It may not happen right away, but eventually, it will be felt.
Consider this: One person may have been sexually assaulted by a group of thugs; another person may have been mugged for their cell phone.
I cannot compare the traumatic experience of the one that was mugged wit the one that was sexually assaulted or vice versa. It simply would not be fair. Both experiences are traumatic for that person.
Trauma cannot be compared. What may be traumatic for me may not be traumatic for you.
Once thing I have come to learn and realize is that we cannot run from our past. We may find so many was to hide from it, but eventually (and it always does) our past will come back to haunt us.
We need to address our own traumatic experiences. For far to long have many of us let our experiences define who we are, define our behaviors and our defense mechanisms. Often resulting in us lying, hiding, struggling to trust people, difficulty asking for help and all other fear based actions which is often revealed in numerous forms, be it aggressive, vengeful, pitiful etc.
Trauma manifests itself in various ways and differs from person to person, but what is constant is that un-dealt with traumatic experiences almost always results in negative character defects. These character defects become our norm. They become our defense mechanism; so the sooner we deal with our trauma, the sooner we begin to heal and experience that feeling of overall self content.
The question is; are you willing to do what ever it will take? Are you willing to speak to a councilor, are you willing to find support groups. Are you willing to acknowledge and accept that, no matter what your experience may have been handed, you are not alone?
Are you willing to deal with your trauma today in hopes of a better tomorrow?